Regina Askia's Message To African Mothers (Must Read)

“This recent brouhaha on Facebook where a woman was labeled mentally incompetent and thus separated from her children got me thinking. We Africans know that as mothers we will stand solidly behind our children to the death. We will walk to the ends of the earth for them.

If the grave had gates and we by some unfortunate incident lost one, some of us will go through and bring our kids back. The African woman is a lioness when it comes to her kids. Now we find our selves in foreign countries like we say Obodo Oyibo, we all must learn to adjust our parental approaches to raising our kids. Out here, spanking your child, getting physical with them, even yelling are all considered acts of violence against a minor.

“The threats our mothers threw around, Like if I catch you I will slap all your teeth out, or I will rearrange or redesign your face, could be taken quite literally, don’t mind the fact you , nor our dear mothers would not in our wildest dreams carry out these threats. If your child goes to school and says “Mommy says she will slap my teeth out” honey that’s a threat to grievous bodily harm. You will get a call or even a visit from social services. Now there are those parents who will not hear it. They will start cursing and making statements like “My father did not raise me like that and that nonsense will never happen in this house” Stomping their feet , clapping and waving hands . Putting their hands on the head and making Hmm and Haa noises even sprinkling some vernacular like okokobioko oo or Tufiakwa o!! Just imagine how that would look to Westerners. In a society that is so quick to label everything as pathological, that is Schizophrenia right there. Opportunist partners who may have been looking for a way to do away with a woman will key in this especially if the woman is somewhat fierce and vocal.

“Manipulating kids who will often be smarting and angry at Mom saying no to a myriad of requests like endless hours on the Xbox and wanting to hang with suspicious friends, will easily roll with Dads/partners suggestions to agree that Mom has been harsh and physical on them. Social services step in and the family unravels. African Americans have lived in this country for 100s of years and what has been their lot, not to mention we African immigrants? Has the justice system been fair? I would not expect the justice system to preserve the sanctity of your home which we must all strive to protect because that is the only chance our children have to fly as straight arrows in todays world. NOW PLEASE UNDERSTAND!! Where physical injury on a child or on a woman or man for that matter has occurred DO NOT WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN A SECOND TIME. Get out of that situation. Women empower yourselves. Get an education (acquire skills) and get a good job.

“You have no idea the kind of respect that comes with earning your paper and getting your money game on flick. You finance your “say so”. Be wise. Much as we must preserve our homes, the first law of the jungle is survival. Take care of yourself, and your health. Stress is a silent killer let no one fool you. Anchor your faith in God, your higher power and let your God selves flourish. Take it one day at a time my sisters and let the cards fall where they may, you will always hold the aces. May God bring peace and healing to those of us who are “going through it” right now – this too shall pass……Amen.